A few weeks ago, I was visiting my ex in SoCal, and he took me to a drag show he frequents in Riverside featuring Raven (I will post later about how since my feminine awakening in the last 2 years, Raven is the only 'woman' who makes me feel like maybe I'm not really a woman at all). I was thrilled to be spending time with Matt, out and about, and asked him to get me something to drink. "What'll ya have?" he asked.
So I saw a young wife/mother when I was in a public place yesterday. She & baby were meeting her husband, who worked there, to say hello. When they were done saying hello and chatting for few, she reluctantly started to make her way to the door to go home with baby. She whispered something to her husband that I couldn't hear. Then the husband said, "Yeah, I can walk you guys out to the car."
I thought of myself in that moment- a young mom; a desperate, great, hideous mess.
Matt and I did not tell the kids the main reason for our divorce right away. We waited a few months. You know, let's screw up their emotional health the least possible by dropping only one bomb at a time.
We told our oldest 2 first. We chose a night that none of us had plans. It was also a night when Matt had the kids, and they ritualistically watched Modern Family (ain't it precious?).
"I am still healing, still grieving -- I doubt I’ll ever get over this. But unlike when Jonathan first came out to me, I believe that I can be happy again someday. I’m realizing that although I will never have the beautiful life that I dreamed of, that the life I am living can be beautiful in a different way."
Divorce is a tragedy, regardless of how mature and friendly the exiting spouses behave during and after the event. A family is ripped apart. Deconstructed. Redefined. It hurts. It is like a death. We mourn. Life will never be the same.
The ability human beings have to move forward and rebuild while our souls are bleeding out is quite impressive.
This is the story of an aquaintance of mine, "Veronica" -a former straight spouse of a Mo-Mo marriage, like myself. She's quite remarkable. I post it with her permission. The names have been changed.
I think we are due for a wee break from The Topics.
I have plenty more to say. Starting tomorrow. But tonight, after working an 8 hour day, is a party! A couple friends and myself planned a party for the Summer Solstice, which was yesterday. But the Hostess was flying in from Fiji last night.
I'll give you a minute to prepare...or stop seeing red...
If gay men and women, had the option to choose marriage to someone of their same sex (you know, someone they are actually in love with- mind, body, & soul), most of them would obviously go that route (now stay with me).
With more gays marrying gays, that means less gays marrying straights.
When less gays marry straights, that means less children coming into marriages that are statistically bound to fail.
I am now a Blogger and no longer WordPressing. You may have been redirected here automatically. I am proud to say that during my time with WordPress (June 13th to today, yeah, about a week) I had over 46,000 views and over 4 thousand Facebook shares. I am proud of my blog.
I have so much respect for Matt, my ex husband. His talent as a director of theatre is mind-blowing. His ability for reasoning and talking me through emotional situations is 2nd to none. He makes me cackle and guffaw. I must say, I feel lucky to have this man be such an intimate part of my life. I refer to myself as his #1 Bitch- not in the prison way, but the gay 'you are one of the most awesome people on my life' way. It is a title of honor.
Matt tried so hard. Harder than I did, I think. Meaning, I was ready to call it quits way before we mutually decided to end it.
I don't know that I've ever used the word 'nutso' before...or if anyone has for that matter. But that is the first word that comes to mind in regards to the response my post has had in its wee tiny 36 hour life span.
The emotional effect of it exhausted me last night. I crashed at about 12 to only be tossing and turning and eventually wide awake at 4:30 am. So I texted my fellah, who has insomnia, to see if he was insomniating (I make up words). He told me he hadn't slept a wink because he was voraciously reading comments posted on my blog.
I told him to knock that crap off and meet me for breakfast.
Zombie boyfriend met me at our favorite diner here in town. He gave me a big squeeze, and I felt incredibly lucky to feel his extraordinary support.
Flashback to last night pre beddy-bye:
I was experiencing a slowly building freak-out because of the number of responses to my post. Granted, I am thrilled beyond words to offer a voice of honesty and realness (for man…
My name is Ashley. I was Mormon for the first 36 years of my life.
Yep, I was baptized when I was 8. I went to BYU where I received a Bachelors in Theatre. I married a returned missionary in the Mt. Timpanogas Temple. We were full tithe payers. I fulfilled several callings diligently, including serving as Primary President for 2 years.
About a year after my divorce, I was chatting with my new bishop, who I had known for several years prior to that. He asked me, "So, Ashley, why did you and Matt get divorced?"
I replied, "Matt is a homosexual."
I just looked him in the eye after I said this and waited a few seconds while he absorbed it.
Then he asked, "Well, was there another problem as well? Like drinking? Or gambling?"
I looked him in the eye a second time and replied, "Nope. Just that."
He was genuinely confused.
I was in a mixed-orientation marriage- a marriage between someone who is gay and someone who i…