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Showing posts from August, 2012

A New Experience (the explanation is three-fold...)

I had an audition yesterday.

That part wasn't new. Done auditions before. Granted, not tons of them in recent years. I auditioned only once for the Neil Simon Festival in 2005 (after a 7 year break from theatre during which time I gestated repeatedly). After that I continued to get cast at the Neil Simon Festival without having to audition again (hair flip).

I did have one other audition since  the '05 Neil Simon audition. It was for the Utah Shakespeare Festival which is stationed in Cedar City. It was December of 2010.  I was called on a Wednesday and asked if i could be at the L.A. audition on that upcoming Monday.

You have to be invited to audition for the festival. Also, only Equity actors are given an audition time in Cedar- the same town the festival is in.  Also, this was the first year in a long time they'd given locals the opportunity to audition... albeit in L.A.

So when i got the call with the invitation to audition, I couldn't really say no. What I though…

To All Those That Know You Are Gay, but You Still Say You're Interested in Women on Facebook:

(I'm gonna be a bitch for a minute.  But just for a minute.)

First I wanna start with You, yeah, you- the one who went on an LDS mission and believes the mission cured your attraction to the same sex.

You've been back long enough now to know that you are still attracted to men (or women, as the case may be), right?  But you wanna hang on just in case something else spiritually miraculous happens, and it goes away again.

Dear Former Elder/Sister, IT AIN'T GOIN' ANYWHERE.  NOW CHANGE YOUR FB "Interested In" OR AT LEAST LEAVE IT BLANK.  You are only hurting yourself and others.  Prolonging the inevitable.  There are too many loving people in our community (LGBT and Allies) who are wanting you to end the confusion and pain, who are waiting to throw our arms around you and accept you and love you.  And when you do that, guess what?  Your Heavenly Father will not be disappointed in you and will still love you just the same as before.  It's true.

I promise.


The Pale Horseman of the Apocalypse

On Saturday afternoon, Matt had to go to a rehearsal.  I was taking a nap when he left.  
I woke up from my nap and found he'd left his iPhone on the couch!!!
I say to Hana and Emma, "Um, you this dad's iPhone?!" I am holding the iPhone like an explosive device that has a timer on it.
"OH MY GOSH!" "WHAT!" "NO WAY!" "AAAHHHHHH!  "SERENITY NOW!" are some of mine and the girls' various responses.
We do this for about a half hour.  
Then one of us, can't remember who, has the brill idea to hide it and create a scavenger hunt for him to find it.
Thus ensued the best 1 1/2 hours of our lives.
The 3 of us are collaborating on all these clues and such, and we are having a freaking blast.  Also, we are working together quite well.  I know this because I've seen lots of Project Runway and Top Chef episodes- they could take some lessons from …

Writing About The Boy and Some Crumbs

A couple days ago, I had the flu. But I still had to pick up Hana and friends in my 115 degree car while sweating from all of the pores under my boobs, because why would I put on a bra when I have the flu...I then hit my head on a low wooden beam of Matt's carport when I got back.

I kept it together until I got inside the house and walked into Matt's bedroom for privacy (I sleep on the couch), then I opened the flood gates.  As I begin sobbing, I start taking off my clothes because they are wet from sweat, and I lie on Matt's bed naked, sweating and crying. Good, hearty crying. All the while, my head was throbbing from my infected sinuses and now the goose egg I'd just acquired in the carport. But the crying was cathartic regardless.  

But I don't wanna get sweat on Matt's bed, so I cry on the floor for a while.  Then I stand up and see myself in the mirror and cry that my boobs no longer defy gravity like they did when I was 17.

Then Hana walked in on me naked.



The Great and Terrible Story of The Boy, Part 9 (Final Interlude)

I was headed home. Goodbye New York. Goodbye Boy.
I felt content.
Also, I was ignoring the universe.And ALL OF THE THINGS.
In the airport, I saw Paul Rudd.He was very short.He had Dustin Hoffman hair from the 80’s. I looked at him like, Yeah, I know…His look back to me was like, I know you know…
I got on the plane.I thought about the way The Boy had smiled at me once while on the subway.It had made my heart pound so hard that I simply had to look away. I thought about the time he made fun of the way his friend, John Lennon, walks and how it made me guffaw.I thought about the way he touched my face when we kissed in the apartment earlier that day.
Then I slept.
The plane landed.I turned my phone back on and there was a text from him.
I drove home from Vegas.
He facebooked me the next day or so.
I’d told him in NY that I’d be alone on Thanksgiving.My first holiday alone.He seemed mildly concerned about me at the time. The day before Thanksgiving I texted him asking if we could plan a phone cal…

The Great and Terrible Story of The Boy, Part 8 (I really hope this is the end. Jeez!)

I'm off into the city for the day while The Boy teaches French lessons.

I went to see Morning Glory with Rachel McAdams.  I really enjoyed it.  Things are looking' up for the rest of my trip!
By the time I get out of the flick, I go visit my friend, Miss Karen, who works at Macy's.  She worked in the toy department, and told me that she'd just helped Roberta Flack who spent $1000 on her grandson.  "$1,000?!" I said to my friend, Miss Karen, "Did you ask her if it was killing her softly?? Ahahahahaha!" See, this trip wasn't all bad.
Met The Boy after that.  We had a party to go to- a friend of his was turning 40 -but we had time to get some dinner first.  
We're still dragging our luggage around everywhere, of course.  The Boy had shown frustration toward the bags, of which he was very kindly dragging along mine and his (mine was a duffle which he set on top of his rolling suitcase).  Understandably so, his anger toward the bags was growing.…

The Great and Terrible Story of The Boy, Part Sevwen! Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah! ~Count von Count

Let's recap:

1) The Boy has had all the sex in the world.

2) I'm an idiot.

3) My trip to NYC is just for sex- hopefully.

"I have to see him," I keep telling everyone.  That was important, because even if nothing comes about, the fantasy wouldn't have that last leg to stand on, so to speak:  "If only we'd seen each other, maybe we could have been something..."  Gotta eliminate any chance of 'Coulda Beens' ala Debbie Gibson.

Besides, the plane ticket was already bought.

And wouldn't you believe it, something else absolutely incredulous got thrown into the mix:

The Boy's apartment, which belonged to his roommate/uncle, has been sold.  And the very last night that he can be in the apartment IS MY FIRST NIGHT THERE!  So, yes, we will be 'homeless' while in NYC together.

Can you stand it?!

It is the eve before my flight.  The first snowstorm of the year is forecast for early the next morning, which is exactly when I need to dri…