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Showing posts from December, 2012

Brown Paper Packages...

I see Emma today. I feel a peacefulness I haven't felt in weeks. I see Jeremy in 2 days. My relationship with Hana has been...every mother-of-a-teenager's dream. My job is going so well. I'm so proud of myself, and I feel incredibly valued there. I think this post, in relation to the post just before it, proves that I'm a libra.

My State. Lordy, Lordy (as my Mamaw used to say)

Yesterday, for the first time since my divorce, which took place in May of 2010, I had the thought, Maybe it would have been easier to have just stayed married.  All I did was swap one set of headaches for another.  (Do you have any idea how many times I was told this in the last 8 years of my marriage when I was divorce-hungry?)

Now, hang on.  Let me explain the day I was having~

-My van had broken down on the freeway the night before.

-I am stressing about Christmas and absorbing Matt's stress about it.

-I am mentally exhausted from putting in over 40 hours a week for the past 2 weeks, ringing people up who aren't in the best holiday shopping mood.

-I need to get out of this house ASA-Freaking-P and get my own place, as I just do not feel comfortable here- not just in the house, but also on this street.

-I've been told by the orthodontist that Ada needs braces yesterday before her underbite sets in permanently.

So there I am in the car with Matt on the way to meet t…

Ada's Growing Up...

Ada just asked me, "Are you Santa Claus?"

"Am I Santa Claus?"  I asked.

"Yeah, are you really Santa Claus?"

"What do you think?"

"I don't know," she replied sheepishly. "Are you?"

"Yes." I answered.

"Really?? You're Santa?"

"Yep...and daddy..."

Then Ada said, " Mrs. Claus?"

#1 I'm Sorry About Your Neuroses That Cause You to Over-Parent Your 2 Young Children #2 Do Not Ever Call Me at Work Again Unless My Daughter is Bleeding Out #3 I Find You Verbally Abusive

I think I have moved past my need for a breather.

Something in my world is shifting.  I can't really describe it, but it's like I was in a cocoon for a few weeks.  I was feeling confused and vulnerable so I wrapped myself up.

So what was it that happened that made me feel safe to start unwrapping?  Or how did I know enough time had gone by, and I was ripe for unsheathing?

It could have been the awesome conversation I had with Emma 2 nights ago.

It may have been the incident that happened last Saturday...

(cut to sepia-colored flashback)

I was at work at World Market bustin' a freakin' move. I had been asked to stay later than scheduled (Manager:  "Ashley, can you stay till 9:30?"  Me:  "Yes!  Thank you, God!").

{Sidenote:  For those of you just joining us, I am currently living with my gay ex-husband... in a teeny tiny house... and this never ever ever needs to happen ever again}

I called home to check in with Hana who was left in charge of Timot…

A Conversation That Coaxed Me Out of My Cave (with typos and all)~

Ashley Wilkinson
what did you think of last sunday's walking dead with the glass in the guy's eye? 8:01pm
Emma Neves

I laughed 8:01pm
Ashley Wilkinson