Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Teaching Time Again! (I Am Wise Like Unto Galadriel)

Read this first.


Another teaching of sister Ashley....

Ashley says:
What can i teach you this morning?

Carrie says:
Why are women attracted to bastards?

Ashley says:
Okay...
It all goes back to Eve and her attraction to satan. We are born with it, like men are born with an attraction to any woman naked (see the correlation?). But just because we're born with it doesn't make it okay. We are supposed to go, "Okay, I'm not attracted to THIS man at all, so he must be a good guy. " So there's the formula for choosing a mate.

Carrie says:
LOL CRAP!!

Ashley says:
What else?

Carrie says:
OK..
Ex's. why?

Ashley says:
Because there is an opposite to everything in life: light/dark, sad/happy, current love interest/ex, eating/barfing.

Carrie says:
Why are they like recurring nightmares?

Ashley says:
Okay, well...
Yes, I'm glad you asked.
Ever see Clockwork Orange?

Carrie says:
Yes

Ashley says:
That has nothing to do with it.
Next question...

Carrie says:
Aaaahh!!
Does love really stink? Or does it just need to be refrigerated?

Ashley says:
Wow, you have really been using your noggin'!

Carrie says:
I figure if I just play Ice Queen in my relationships, the love will last longer. Is this the right thing to do?

Ashley says:
Love stinks only when you get drunk and puke on each other. Refrigeration is required only when love involves people you hate. So, yes, playing the Ice Queen means you love someone so much, you hate them. That is the dream! Ever see Mannequin?

Carrie says:
ahahahahhahahahahiwejgajreogsdfjgheoir

Ashley says:

I know you have, so- Andrew McCarthy-love him or hate him? BOTH -being made out of plastic is another way to show love.

Carrie says:
Because..maybe..feelings are feelings because we can't control them.

Ashley says:
But, you can. At least for a while. It's called REPRESSION. It's a very healthy way of burying things we don't want to feel. If we didn't have this mechanism, as it were, the human race would be running around screaming and waving their arms all day.
Mayhem. Chaos. Anarchy.
Repression makes life beautiful.
And psychologists rice.
Rich. 
Not rice
Rice is for weddings. Marriage's survive because of repression.

Carrie says:
That is awesome

Ashley says:
Gotta go

Carrie says:
Bye





2 comments:

  1. BWAHAHAHAHAH... Ever See Clockwork Orange?? Yes. That has nothing to do with it!!! HAHAHAHAAH!!! I do love you sisters so...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I want that shirt, but sadly, I can't find it on cafepress.com....

    ReplyDelete