When I Feel Like My Lungs Won't Inflate, Is That Bad?

So much going on right now, bitches-

I am hauling crap into a storage unit a little everyday. 

I have to keep my town home clean for showings.  Hahahahahahahaha

Squeezing in private time with Jeremy after kids have gone to bed, cause I'm, like, moving away from him.

Making dates to see friends and say goodbye to them.

Jeremy and I spent all of yesterday trying to make Pioneer Day (Utah holiday) special for the kids with pizza, fireworks, parade, park. 

Applying for jobs in California online as much as possible, meaning as much as time allows. 

In the process of applying for state aid in California- Hello, California!  I'm yet another single mom, and I've decided to come to your state!  Give me money! 



And I'm 'accomplishing' all of this while working my 2 jobs and taking care of my kids' basic needs, like, feeding them ramen and picking them up from the police station when they've been taken in for roaming the streets of Cedar naked. 

Thank goodness for Zoloft.  Thank goodness for Landshark.  Thank goodness for Boy George. 

So whilst going all chicken ala head cut off, I managed to write an 'article', for lack of a better word, about the difference between having sex with a gay man and having sex with a straighty.  Of course, this is based soley on my experience.  I really don't think this piece is for my blog.  But it's so awesome, that I'm trying to find a home for it.  A safe, comfy home with a warm fire and a glass of wine...perhaps some Carpenters playing. 

I won't post it on my blog, because while making people a little uncomfortable is good and healthy for all involved, with my thin skin, I can't figure out how to not be sad when someone has unfriended me on Facebook, undoubtedly, because of my blog. 

See, Jeremy has an application that tells him if he has any unfriendings whenever he signs into FB and who they are.  I don't know why anyone would want to know that, first of all.  But a couple days ago, when he opened up FB, I must have still been logged in.  He texted me, "You have been unfriended by So&So, Jane Doe, Missy Miss, and This Lady." (in case you're nervous that I've disrespected someone's privacy, those names aren't their real names, I promise)  Then he follows that with, "Good job, sweetie." 

My feelings were hurty!  Why ya gotta unfriend me on the FB??  How 'bout JUST DON'T READ MY BLOG!

Then there's the acquaintance here in town who commented on FB, when I'd linked a post, "I'm done.  Good luck Ashley."

You know, this is a small town- we're going to run into each other in the grocery store!  Why'd ya have to go and make it all complicated for me?  I just wanna go into the grocery store and enjoy buying my groceries!  Not be on the look out for you, because I would hate to look up after checking the carton of eggs for cracked shells and there you are!  And then what?!  Are you gonna hit me?  Cry?  Scream at me? 

All I can think of, in regards to So&So, Jane Doe, Missy Miss, and This Lady, is that one or more of my posts triggered something in you that you aren't ready to look at.  If that's the case, I understand.  Bless your heart.  I was in a similar boat once upon a lifetime.  Do what you need to do for now, but when you're ready to look at those tough things and make peace with them, one way or another, we can be friends again if you wanna. 

For now, I'll still smile at you if I see you.  You probably won't smile back, and that will make me sad.