My Husband Tells Me I Need to Soften My Vagina

My youngest, Ada, still likes to go to church occasionally.  Makes sense.  The little kids sing songs and color and play games.  One recent Sunday, she asked me to go with her.  I said okay.

She went to her little kids classes and I went to the big people classes.  The first one, Sunday School, was tolerable.  But only tolerable.  The next one was Relief Society.  Relief Society is the organization for women of the LDS (Mormon) Church.  

There are a lot of good things that happen because of Relief Society.  They make sure you get meals delivered to your home if you just had a baby, are very sick, just had surgery, had a death in the family, and such.  They are known to make blankets for less fortunate children.  The Relief Society typically puts together care packages for people all over the world in crisis.  

But then there are the weekly Sunday meetings.  

There is a lesson and discussion.  

On this particular day, I lasted about 20 minutes in Relief Society.  Then I went across the street and ate an entire plate of chorizo.



These women wallow in how they are just not good enough, that they are nothing unless they are obedient.  The constant focus in RS is how to be better, how to improve, and, unfortunately, what is usually taken away from this is I am not good enough.  I, even I, had days once upon a time when I'd be out and about picking up kids or running to the store and think, "Oh no!  I forgot to read my scriptures this morning!  Today is going to be terrible." or "I didn't pray last night before I passed out the minute my head hit the pillow!  I hope none of my children get hit by a car today!"

So on this day, I was antsy as it was, and then the gal giving the lesson said something that made me get up and walk out:

"My husband is always telling me that I need to soften my heart, because I have trouble with having a hard heart a lot of times."

Imagine this being said the way a child would say, "My mommy keeps telling me I need to stop saying 'buttface', cause it's a bad word."  giggle

My first thought upon walking out of the room was, "WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!"  Then my next thought upon walking out of the building was, "WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!"  Then across the street while shoveling chorizo, "WHAT WAS I DOING THERE?!"

This poor woman has been trained to listen to her priesthood bearing husband- a husband who undoubtedly looks at porn (BIG no-no in the church).  This poor woman who endures several pregnancies AND childbirths, who toils day and night taking care of babies and cleaning and cooking and doing laundry, who does everything she can to not drown in responsibility, is told at the end of the day that she has a 'hard heart'.  Maybe instead it would be nice for her to hear Yay! You didn't cry today!  or You were able to squeeze in a nap? Awesome!  or I'm glad you found some time to masturbate. That can really take the edge off.  I wonder if husband tells her to soften her heart when he's rolling over in bed after she's gotten up with the baby for the 3rd time during the night.

Then, after saying something like this to his wife, imagine Mormon husband turning around and publicly telling the congregation (and this happens aaalllllllllllll the time) that he would not make it to the Celestial Kingdom (heaven) without his wife who is the most perfect person he's ever known.  Can you imagine the monumental strain that puts on a woman??  Not to mention, it is impossible.  So as long as I'm perfect, I can get my husband to the Celestial Kingdom.  But, darnit, I forgot to read my scriptures again this morning!  I'm failing!  I'm a failure!  We're only going to make it to the Terrestrial Kingdom (the 2nd best heaven)All the while, she is expected to keep a smile on her face. 

I was teaching Relief Society once upon a time when a woman, about 30, who was always dressed to the nines with hair perfectly styled and wearing full Mary Kay regalia, said, "We as women focus too much on having Me time.  This idea that we need to have Me time is the voice of the adversary. It isn't a night out with the girls that replenishes us; it's temple attendance and scripture study." 

Again, we are nothing.  And yet expected to be everything.  I was working so hard in that moment keeping my composure that I was vibrating.








Comments

  1. Ashely, you should be reading over at freejinger.org!! They focus on fundamentalists like the Duggars (they look mild on their tv show, but ooooh boy... honestly, they are scary as hell and their children are screwed.) Anyway, the Duggars are followers of a guy named Bill Gothard, and one his biggest things is telling the women to "keep sweet." No matter what happens in their lives, they are encouraged to have a nice "countenance," "keep sweet" and be cheery as %&#*. This is why, if you have ever watched 19 Kids & Counting, you always see Michelle talking in that sweet, fake baby voice. It's actually something she is encouraged to do by her personal religious views.

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  2. shocking... and yet so heroically candid. Thanks Ashley.

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    1. You make me feel really awesome.

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    2. YOU make me smile while I read... which is such a rarity and gift!

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  3. Bingo. And the saddest thing is that no matter what I do now as an Ex-Mormon - no matter how much volunteer work, or even if I discovered a cure for cancer - I am still viewed as an evil, sinning, going-to-hell apostate failure because I left this religion. How screwed up is it to rank temple attendance over something like feeding the homeless?

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  4. She'll crack someday. If she doesn't it will be because she found a way to cope, like meth.

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  5. 'Bingo'- I remember a member friend telling me how guilty she felt for reading books that the Twelve had written instead of her scriptures! UM!

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  6. bingo. your comment makes me sad. I'm an active member and think that how you feel is a product of people that are wrong and not the actual religion.
    and ashley is right. screwed up things happen like that at church all.the.time. there are times(more often out of Utah) where people use the principles of the LDS church to better there lives because it makes THEM happy. and those people aren't holding their breathe for the next bad thing to happen because they forgot to 'read Scriptures' or whatever else.

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  7. In defense of Mormon husbands who do not fit this mold: My husband is a true feminist. He never ever ever holds the priesthood over me (in fact we've had lengthy discussions regarding the fact that I already have the priesthood but that's another story), never tells me I need to be better, respects what I do, offers endless gratitude for what I do in our family, goes above and beyond to sexually fulfill me and seeks out times he can take the kids and let me sleep, read, or watch Netflix if I so choose. I just needed to say that. They are few and far between, but they exist. And it's not fair to him that sweeping generalizations be made.

    That being said, I TOTALLY agree with you. Women in the church struggle for balance. They struggle to understand the concept Brigham Young talked about: The commandment to "Be Ye Perfect" is not a commandment to be like Christ in His perfection, rather to understand that every day is a chance to wake up and start over. To embrace the blessing of progress, of learning, of growing.

    Like Eckhart Tolle says, the past carries no weight in the present moment. Mormon women tend to neglect this idea. Our lives will not, in the end, be a culmination of things we did or did not do every day. It won't be a checklist. It will be the things that are written in our bones. The state of our hearts. That we are committing every moment over and over again to be true to ourselves - to our divinity - regardless of the traditions, and cultural expectations, and "rules".

    I try every chance I can as a Relief Society teacher and member to break to mold. To say things that I think might change people's paradigms. I get some complaints for not going by the numbers, but most people like seeing things through different eyes. And I struggle with the culture of the church. I struggle with the totally misguided attempts to guilt people into being better. It's a flawed system. No doubt.

    I am friends with a Buddhist priest, who I love dearly. One day he said to me "Mormons and Buddhists believe the same things. I could be a Mormon, based on what I believe." And he's right. The principles of the gospel are no different than energy work, buddhism, islam, eckhart tolle, etc... it's just that we use a different jargon, and because it's different we think it's better. So how come Buddhism isn't tainted with overwhelming guilt? Because they can understand the inherent perfections of a temporal life.

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  8. I've come to realize completely, for myself, my truth, my reality...which can co-exist at the exact same time as every other human's truth can exist...is that..Whatever brings you closer to Source (aka God aka Heavenly Father aka The Creater)..serves you. The Mormon church is NOT for everyone on this planet. Nor is ANY religion for that matter. Everyone has to live their truth as it serves them for the good of themselves and everyone. NOT ONE SINGLE HUMAN BEING is better than another. Not everyone and everything is in vibrational alignment. That will not happen for a looong, looong, loooong time.

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  9. This view of the church and its members is so simple minded it's aggravating! If you are sitting in church and thinking your terrible YOU ARE THE ONE MISSING THE MESSAGE! I teach the young women and we are constantly reminding the girls how special and wonderful they are, how much their father in heaven loves them. I understand these things take place but EVERYONE has weird idea about how to live their lives well. Some people think that washing their hands 100 times a day will avoid sickness and others think if run everyday of their lives they will avoid a heart attack. Some people need systems and order to feel comfort in their lives. I feel happiness in the religion and I don't feel bad about myself when I don't read my scriptures, cause guess what I RARELY DO! When I do choose to read I DO FEEL BETTER but I don't save crashes from happening. If you felt that way I think IT'S ON YOU. Have you ever been talking to someone and you thought, hmm what they are saying doesn't make any sense. This is something you should have said to that woman teaching the lesson and something you should have said to yourself 100 million times. You created this reality for yourself. I feel like you have alienated a huge portion of your audience by "preaching to the choir." Try personalizing your message more and avoid making blanket statements that proclaim exactly how the church is. Lots of people aren't experiencing what you experienced. What you are talking about is not a universal truth. I would seriously consider your approach and hopes for this blog. You message is powerful and useful to members of the LDS faith and people outside of that faith but right now you are alienating members of the church by being catty and non emotional about your story. Also take some personal responsibility in your life. Even if you just say I wish I had questioned more or thought harder for myself. It's hard for me to read crap like this when I'm sitting here thinking, how stupid are you? How do you NOT learn through these life lessons to question things more or to not buy into EVERYTHING people tell you. Christ loves and through his loves we can return to live with our father. The rest is a give and take for me. I'm able to say yes to the questions asked in my temple recommend interview because I can see the value in those concepts i.e. word of wisdom and honest but I stopped hating myself when I was a teenager and truly stopped blaming the gospel for being the reason to my un happiness a long time ago too.

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    1. You will look like less of a psycho if you learn to use paragraphs.

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    2. I also feel inclined to comment, @ Anonymous 3.25:


      >If you are sitting in church and thinking your terrible

      A possessive pronoun followed by an adjective needs a noun (to qualify the adjective). Otherwise the sentence doesn't make sense. Just sayin'.


      >I teach the young women and we are constantly reminding the girls how special and wonderful they are, how much their father in heaven loves them.

      So I read this post as saying: Heavenly father-type love is dependent on one being perfect (you mentioned you never read scriptures so for your convenience the reference = Matthew 5:48). By extension that teaches the qualities of love as conditional, and based in judgement. That's not right.

      If it *were* (right), I suspect you wouldn't need to be "constantly reminding" the girls that they are loved and loveable and all that.


      >EVERYONE has weird idea about how to live their lives well

      True. Maybe that's the problem (and a theme to this Tiny Crumbs blog, by the way): Maybe life in this world can actually be lived according to more than one idea.


      >I stopped hating myself when I was a teenager

      Oh, hey. Good for you.


      >...and truly stopped blaming the gospel for being the reason to my un happiness

      So now I'm confused: I thought you said you were happy (referring to sentence "I feel happiness"). Maybe just angry -- that comes across pretty clear -- but I get peoples' anger and blame of others mixed up sometimes. Sorry.


      I also like chiozo.

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    3. I am sorry to hear that you are a leader for the young women in your ward. In my experience many of the LDS women have been raised and taught to believe that they need to find a perfect man, a man worthy of their love and admiration. I believe this puts a false hope and expectation in their minds.

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  10. I like chorizo.

    I've done work with RS, and, my presence was tolerated there. It didn't matter I was present to help others (packages and making dresses, etc), I was an outsider, so, the usual stuff had to be put aside to be discussed later. Instead, I chatted about everything else and made more enemies than friends.

    Meh.

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  11. Just because you feel alienated doesn't mean others are feeing alienated. Don't speak for me please. Don't accuse of being catty when everything about your post comes off as catty and snarky. I took her post as being her own personal thoughts not that she was trying to tell me how I was feeling. Talking about blanket statements ... your comment that she is alienating members ... HUGE blanket statement. How many members exactly did you talk to in order to arrive at that statement. Thought I'd throw in some capital letters there for you. Be grateful and thankful you haven't experienced what Ashley has experienced. Let's see - you've called her simple minded, clueless, unrealistic, stupid, impersonal, catty, unemotional,irresponsible, ohhh just all too much - you teach the girls???? EEK

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    1. I'm not the one hoping to share my story with the world. The way she is presenting her message is keeping it from what should be her target audience. Thanks for the CAPITAL letters it meant a lot to me! thanks for reading my message and feeling inclined to comment.

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    2. Ashley, YW teacher and Anonymous at 3:45, I feel like you all brought up some good points. I hope we can all learn from those good points and not be blinded and become alienated from the message and purpose by anger and attacks on each other and others. Keep up the good work, Ashley!

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  12. Ashley - I think you are wonderful. I'm an active member of the LDS church and have felt this way. It seems that others are feeling this way as well. I wonder what RS would be like if everyone who felt this way shared those feelings and thoughts -- would we find a majority? Interesting thought. Thank you for your honesty.

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  13. That is some scary demeaning stuff the women are being asked to swallow. (Among other things? ;) Pretty sure I wouldn't last long trying to live up to those sorts of ideals or a religion that puts men FIRST.

    Love your blog, keep on writing!

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  14. "..from what should be her target audience." SHOULD??? SHOULD?? Her target audience in THE ENTIRE WORLD. or...like yourself..anyone who chooses to read this! Did ya happen to read the "and they lived happily ever after" blog post???? Ashley has but MERELY BEGUN her story. Everyone just sit tight...there's more.

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  15. I'm the one that first replied to bingo. I just wanted to say to the YW teacher .. when you said "Try personalizing your message more and avoid making blanket statements that proclaim exactly who the church is." I agree. I think Ashley should consider that obviously a lot of mormons are reading her blog. And she's saying a lot of things thar could have a big impact. .for me she is placing a finger on a lot of things we just don't talk about. She makes me feel brave enough to do or say something about it..but she also generalizes and maybe paints the picture as a whole when it isn't that way? And that's frustrating for those of us that don't fall into that group.

    Also ym teacher I just have to say you came off very catty and 'holyier than thou ' sounding.

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  16. Ash, you know I love you but I too am... frustrated, by this post more so than your others. Without going on and on I'll just say that it seems like you let your emotions get in the way this time.

    A. You don't know the context of the "hard heart" story. She (whoever was telling the story) must not have been too bothered by it or she wouldn't have shared it with the group. Believe it or not, couples communicate... about good things and bad. Whit and I are always pointing out each others weaknesses, not out of spite or disrespect, but because we trust and love each other those topics are ok to talk about. (Even if, God forbid, her husband actually is a terrible person and is vicious and mean, and manipulative, and condescending... it hardly constitutes a post naming all LDS men as terrible and vicious and mean, and manipulative, and condescending.)

    B. Ash, forgive me for saying this, but as mad as you are at the church, and/or it's members, eventually you're going to have to take a step back and decipher how many things you can realistically pin on them. We all make our own choices.

    C. As for the church encouraging guilt, and shame, and sadness I remind you that it was Joseph Smith who said: "Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof..." I mean, "Men are that they might have joy." We call it the "Plan of Happiness" Any guilt or shame or misery or sadness that occurs is a personal action or reaction. How can we blame the church, or anyone else, for our personal actions?

    You, Ashley, are so amazing, you have so many valuable insights, so many wonderful nuggets of inspiration, so many hilarious stories, so much to share that I would hate to see this blog turn simply into a place where people who are mad at the church, for one reason or another, get together and share horror stories.

    Truly with MUCH love, -Trav
    (I had to get some capital letters in there some how.)

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    1. Thank you for saying what I was trying to say but with correct grammar and more love for ashley. I posted in hast and frustration. However, trav has expressed exactly why this blog has been so frustrating and hurtful for me personally to read.
      The YW teacher who will continue to tell her girls how special they are cause girls need to hear that and not because they were raised in the church!

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  17. Hahaha loved this post and I think it's funny all these molly Mormon women read your blog when they know what's its about. I feel like the church is the biggest lie out there. Not to mention I feel like it's a cult they make you feel guilty when wanting to leave, brain wash you into thinking there is only one way to believe, not to mention some of their teachings are CRAZY!! Look into it yourselves Mormon ladies!!! And yes I too was once a member of that horrible religion. Thank god I got the balls to look into myself and LEAVE!

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  18. By the way these people who "love you" just another guilt ridden thing your fellow Mormons are doing not surprising in the least.

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  19. The church DOES inflict guilt. As a matter of fact....ALL ORGANIZED RELIGIONS DO!!!!!!! THE FEAR OF HELL AND DAMNATION FOR ETERNITY AAAHHH!!!!!!!!!...if you don't do x, y and z. You are toast. You are excommunicated!!! You MUST REPENT or GOD WILL BE MAD AT YOU FOREVER!!!! Ashley post here is JUST ONE isolated incident. I'm sure she could make a list..along with myself! Jeez! All I ever felt when going to church is "oh wow, i'm like not good enough". Sitting in front of the Bishop telling him I want to experience certain things in life, "NOOOOO" he says. "Heavenly Father will be so unhappy with you!!" OH NO I'M SO AFRAID NOW!! AAAHH!!! See...it's fear. I left the church and came to this decision, "Ok, I will now make my own choices based on if I feel they are good for me. NOT because some church 'told me so or else'. I will communicate with my own heart, my own spirit and God in my way and I will know if something will bring me happiness or not. I need to find my connection with God in my own fashion. I have free will and I will practice it. I do not need some old man to tell me what God is saying when I can ASK HIM MYSELF."

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  20. Trav, I'm not mad at the church. If anyone is reading my posts as angry rants, they are projecting that. I've met angry Mormons. I'm not one of them. The context of the 'hard heart' story doesn't really matter. It set me off and I wasn't about to give this woman a call to get the full story. If I had mentioned her by name on the blog, then that'd be different. I use what this random, faceless woman said as an example of what is not okay with me. I have a friend who's husband chastizes her for not attending Sunday School while she sets up for Relief Society (she's the pres), but he SWEARS, BLOWS THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS ON HIS HOBBY WHEN THEY ARE GETTING CHURCH ASSISTANCE, AND WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE. I never judged Matt when we were married. His salvation was his own. And visa versa. If I had a hard heart which led me to a lot of complaining, he would have said, "Ash, you sure are complaining a lot." Not, "Ash, you have a hard heart. I admonish you to soften it lest ye become like Laman and Lemuel." Get my drift? And, yeah, our parents and leaders abolutely use guilt and shame at times. My dad was upset with a script I wanted to do in high school that had to do with sex and he found it and threw it in my face and proceed to scream at me. And soon it will become clear to you and everyone else that my beef is NOT with the gospel of love and joy (like JS mentions), but with HOW many many many leaders and parents have decided to teach it.
    These are MY experiences that I'm sharing. I have to share them in a way that is true to how I feel. Full Stop.

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    1. And I and I am sure many others hope you continue to do so.

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  21. The point of my post is this: Women in the church should be treated like goddesses. Goddesses on earth. We are amazing.

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  22. I agree with the point of your post whole heartedly. :)

    And I also understand where you're coming from. Too many members mis-interpret the gospel and make it seem like everything we do is out of fear. And even use fear to motivate others into action. This practice is not in alignment with the doctrine that has been taught by the prophets or that we find in the scriptures.

    (The remainder of this post is more in response to the group of commenters and not only Ashley specifically)

    Let me be at least one "crazy Mormon" to say that every thing I do in regards to my religion and in my dealings with others is out of love. We had a saying on my mission that "love is the motivator." Love for my fellow man is what inspires me to be open minded and accepting to all people regardless of their religion, sexual orientation etc etc blah blah. Love for my God (NOT fear of damnation thank you very much) is what inspires me to follow the teachings of the Gospel. Love for my wife is what inspires me to treat her like the goddess that she is. Love for myself is what allows me to be happy and enjoy my life even though I'm so far from perfect. Even though I "sin" daily the love that I have for myself, and the understanding I have the atonement allows me to repent without hating myself. I can absolutely strive to better myself without all the shame, and guilt, and self loathing if I remember that love is the motivator.

    I can assure you that, according to LDS doctrine, (regardless of what some parents, or leaders, or anyone else may say) God wants, above all else, His children to be happy. Do we believe that following the principles of the Gospel lead to the greatest amounts of happiness? Of course. That's why we care so much! But even those who may have "lost their way" (I freaking hate that saying so much. haha) deserve to be happy just as badly as anyone else.

    I guess that segues into something I couldn't quite put my finger on last night when I was writing my response to you: You're such a fun, positive, energetic person and it was hard for to see such a negative post come from you.

    That said I know you have to respond honestly to what you're experiencing. So please, keep doing that. You just still have to love me when I respond honestly to what I read.

    -Trav

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  23. Ashley,

    I know I'm a little late to this conversation, but it has been on my mind since yesterday. I absolutely agree that you should share your experience. I believe that we need to be real about our lives, but I found it frustrating that you would generalize so much in this post. I'm sure you and Matt have both felt the sting of being lumped into a category. I'm sure you know how frustrating it is to have people assume they know what your life is like. It is unfair to say "Mormon women are _____." We are diverse and our lives are all very different.

    I have sat through some weird lessons, and some weird testimonies, but I also understand that people are imperfect. We all are at different levels of understanding in the gospel, and in life. We all have different families and different ways of being raised. That is why it is so important to speak up, with love, and share your understanding

    My experience in the church has been beautiful. I have a kind father who encouraged me to pursue my passions, to wait to marry until I found a good man that I loved, and to do good things that would strengthen me. My husband is kind and honest and never tells me what to think or what to believe. I know many LDS men like him. I believe deeply in the principles of the church, and try to understand them personally.

    This year after losing my son Jonah I have felt the love of the Relief Society sisters in my ward and in my community, long after the obligatory dinners and flowers. They have tried their best to comfort me, even when it was uncomfortable for them. They have invited me to walk with them, and on our walks we talk about the difficulties of our lives. They have shared their own heartaches with me with incredible openness. They have taught lessons that have increased my ability to cope with a heavy burden.

    I think they deserve more credit than you have given them in this post, and I don't doubt that you know many beautiful, educated, and strong LDS women.

    Keep writing...and by the way I loved your post on Grace. I thought it brought such a beautiful balance and wholeness to your blog.

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  24. I loved that grace post, too! I wanted to say something about being sad you deleted it before, but didn't.

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  27. i and my husband have been having a lot of problem living together, he will always not make me happy because he have fallen in love with another lady outside our relationship, i tried my best to make sure that my husband leave this woman but the more i talk to him the more he makes me feel sad, so my marriage is now leading to divorce because he no longer gives me attention. so with all this pain and agony, i decided to contact this spell caster to see if things can work out between me and my husband again. the spell caster told me what i will do to get my husband back, so he told me that he was going to make all things normal back. he did the spell on my husband and after 5 days my husband changed completely he even apologize with the way he treated me that he was not him self, i really thank this priest his name is Dr Ishvara he have bring back my husband back to me i want you all to contact him who are having any problem related to marriage issue and relationship problem he will solve it for you. his email ishvaratemple@yahoo.com

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  28. I just want to take a few moments to personally thank you for helping me bring back my husband to me and his family. About three months ago, I discovered that my husband of 3 years was having an affair outside our relationship. When I found out about this affair, I approached him and he did not confessed that he and She was having an affair and that he loved her and wanted to end our marriage and be with her.I was so devastated that I had to be hospitalized for a nervous breakdown. When I got better, I decided to go online and look for someone very good to help me. for a surprised! Then one day, I saw your comment about the powerful saibaba temple and was impressed by what they said. and i contacted him for the solution of my problem, and my husband attitude began to change and share good feelings towards me and i am so much happy after he apologies for what he had done to me, he now love me and treat so much better than ever before. thanks to the great one. you can contact this great spell caster via his email templesaibaba@yahoo.com

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  29. My name is Sharon Johnson and i want to testify of the good work done by a faithful Dr uko a spell caster. in my life i never thought there is such thing as spiritual intercession. my problem started nine months back when the father of my kids started putting up some strange behavior, i never knew he was having an affair outside our matrimonial home. it dawn on me on that faithful day 19th of April 21st 4:23pm when he came to the house to pick his things that was when i knew that situation has gotten out of hand and he then told me he was quitting the marriage which i have built for over five years, i was confused and dumbfounded i called on family and friends but to no avail. two months after i started having problem with my kids welfare rent-age and all of it, i really went through hell. until a day i was browsing on the internet and i happen to meet a spell caster i never believed on this but i needed my man back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it but you know a problem shared is half solved after a week my husband called me telling me that he his coming back home and that was all. now we are living happily and i still do contact him on this email:ukospelltemple@yahoo.com

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  30. BE CAREFUL HERE NOBODY CAN HELP YOU HERE OR EVEN SUGGEST HOW YOU CAN GET YOUR EX OR LOVE BACK,ANY TESTIMONIES OF MOST SPELL CASTER HERE MUST BE IGNORE.BECAUSE MOST OF THEM ARE SCAM I MEAN REAL SCAM WHICH I WAS A VICTIM AND I GOT RIPPED OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS BECAUSE I WAS SO ANXIOUS TO GET MY WIFE BACK AFTER SHE LEFT ME FOR OVER 2 YEARS WITH MY 7 YEARS OLD SON JERRY,I HAVE APPLIED TO 7 DIFFERENT SPELL CASTER HERE AND ALL TO NO AVAIL THEY ALL ASK FOR SAME THING SEND YOUR NAME YOUR EX NAME ADDRESS AND PICTURE PHONE NUMBER ETC WHICH I DID OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND MOST OF THEM WERE FROM WEST AFRICA UNTIL I SAW A POST ABOUT MAMA ANITA SPELL AND I DECIDED TO GAVE HER MY LAST TRAIL.SHE ASK ME FOUR THINGS MY REAL NAME,MY EX AND MY EX MOTHER NAME AND $180 AND SAID MY EX WILL COME BACK IN 24HOURS, I HAVE PAID OVER $3000 ON SPELL CASTING AND COURIER AND NOTHING HAVE WORK FOR ME AFTER 3 DAYS I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I HAVE LOST SO FAR SO I SAID LET ME GIVE HER A TRY SO I CALLED HER AGAIN AND SEND MY REAL NAME,MY EX AND MY EX MOTHER NAME AND THE $180 BECAUSE I SWEAR IT WAS MY LAST TRY SO I WAS WAITING AS SHE TOLD ME TO WAIT TILL NEXT DAY AND I COULD NOT SLEEP THAT NIGHT BECAUSE I REALLY LOVE MY WIFE AND WANT HER BACK AT 9PM THAT DAY I SAW MY WIFE ON LINE ON FACE BOOK AND SHE SAID HI AT FIRST I WAS SHOCK BECAUSE SHE NEVER TALK WITH ME FOR THE PAST A YEAR AND 9 MONTH NOW I DID NOT REPLY AGAIN SHE SAID ARE YOU THERE? I QUICKLY REPLY YES AND SHE SAID CAN WE SEE TOMORROW I SAID YES AND SHE WENT OFF-LINE I WAS CONFUSED I TRY TO CHAT HER AGAIN BUT SHE WAS NO MORE ON LINE I COULD NOT SLEEP THAT NIGHT AS I WAS WONDERING WHAT SHE IS GOING TO SAY, BY 7.AM THE NEXT MORNING SHE GAVE ME A MISS CALL I DECIDED NOT TO CALL BACK AS I WAS STILL ON SHOCK AGAIN SHE CALL AND I PICK SHE SAID CAN WE SEE AFTER WORK TODAY I SAID YES SO SHE END THE CALL IMMEDIATELY I GOT OFF WORK SHE CALL ME AND WE MEET AND NOW WE ARE BACK AGAIN I CALL MAMA ANITA THE NEXT DAY THANKING HER FOR WHAT SHE HAS DONE IN FACT I STILL CALL HER AND THANK HER AS MY LIFE WAS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT MY WIFE PLEASE BE CAREFUL HERE I HAVE BEEN SCAM THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IF YOU WANT A TRUE LOVE SPELL THEN CONTACT MAMA ANITA (mama.anitatruelovespell@gmail.com)

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  31. I can't hide this amazing testimony that took place in my life. A prophet named saibaba helped me to bring back my love who left me while I was six months pregnant and went on a peace keeping mission in new zealand. We both love each other and it was a shock to me and it really broke my heart. I tried to call him and both of his lines were disconnected. I tried to reach him on social networks but he deleted me off of them. I tried to reach his parents and they told me that their son said that he does not love me and does not want to see me and they do not know what is wrong. I cried and cried everyday because I loved him very much. Until I gave birth and the baby was one year old, I could not get my love back. Again, I was confused. I do not know what to do and I also lost my job and I have no money to take care of the baby. I was miserable in life so I cried to my sister and told her my problem and said that she knew of one lord prophet that prayed for her when she could not get pregnant. I contacted him by email and he said he will help me and told me that a revelation came regarding my husband and marriage problem, he will help me fast and pray so my man will come back to me and be mine forever. It was a great surprise to me that everything that he said came to pass. My man came back to me immediately, saying that I should forgive him. I am sending a very big thank you to this prophet. I pray for him to live long and do more of his spiritual work. If you have any kind of problem disturbing you in life, you have to contact this prophet! He can help you.contact him through this email; templesaibaba@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  32. My name is Olive Perry from USA After being in relationship with smith for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a PROPHET harry that could help me pray to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in prayers, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the Prophet harry email prophetharryprayerhome@yahoo.com, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before two days, that my ex will return to me before two days, he pray for me and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by reffering him or her to the only real and powerful Prophet who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email prophetharryprayerhome@yahoo.com) you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything.

    ReplyDelete
  33. who ever is reading this testimony today should please celebrate with me and my family because it all started like a joke to some people and others said it was impossible. my name is Michael i live in Chicago i am happily married with two kids and a lovely wife something terrible happen to my family along the line, i lost my job and my wife packed out of my house because i was unable to take care of her and my kids at that particular time. i manage all through five years, no wife to support me to take care of the children and there come a faithful day that i will never forget in my life i met an old friend who i explain all my difficulties to, and he took me to a spell caster and and the name of the temple is called, DR Okundonor, i was assure that everything will be fine and my wife will come back to me after the wonderful work of Dr Okundonorgreatspell, my wife came back to me and today i am one of the richest man in my country. i advice you if you have any problem email him with this email: dr.okundonorgreatspell@gmail.com and you will have the best result. take things for granted and it will be take from you. i wish you all the best.

    Contact:( dr.okundonorgreatspell@gmail.com), or call he with this phone number, +2348137828640

    ReplyDelete
  34. Am Sammy Elisha from USA This was How i got my lover back, All thanks goes to Dr ALABI for saving my marriage from toning apart.i feel so grateful and only have good words about a powerful spell caster named Dr ALABI who helped me bring back my wife. We had been apart for 4 months, at first I was thinking if I was doing the right thing by contacting a spell caster, but I so much love my wife and won't give her up for anything in this world. I decided to contact Dr ALABI.Trust through his mail address {alabitemple@yahoo.com} I found on several testifiers messages online,and I told him about my situation, he laughed and told me my lover will be back to me in the next 48 hours. I felt it wasn't going to happen at first until my lover called me and was so eager to have me back more than anything on earth.. Now we are together and she cant do without me,and both of us are happy. I feel so happy sharing this testimony because there was no negative act attached to his work. His work was smooth and fast. Thanks to Dr ALABI for bringing back happiness to my life. I swear with my life that Dr ALABI is a man to trust and take your problems to. You can contact him on his e-mail if you really truly want your love back.{alabitemple@yahoo.com}

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  35. I am Rebecca, i will like to let every know that there is a true and real spell caster out there and he has helped me in so many way just a few days since i came in contact with him through the help of my good friend who introduced me to him. he did a love spell for me and assured me that after 2days, my ex husband will return to me and to my greatest surprise the 2day my ex came knocking at my door begging for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again. Once again thank you Dr, Shakiki, You are truly a great man wow this man has brought back the joy in my life that was stolen and now i live a better and sound life. he bring back my divorce husband home with his love spell, when i lost my husband.he is true to his word and he is here in the world to help mankind. he is the realest of all spell caster online. he is LORD Dr.Shakiki. you can get him via email: LORDSHAKIKISPELL@GMAIL.COM OR LORDSHAKIKISPELL@YAHOO.COM or you can also contact him through his website http://lordshakikispell.webs.com and i swear a trial will convince you and you will be a happy with you lover again call him +2348100399287

    ReplyDelete
  36. hello viewers,please read my testimony,my name is mrs linda paul and i live
    in us, i never knew there are still real people who can still solve
    problems for real, my problem was solved under fourty eight hours by
    someone i met online, first i thought it was a scam, till my problem was
    solved by a spellcaster man, this man was introduced to me by a friend of
    mine. my husband just woke up one morning and left me and my three kids for
    almost three years, not too long i lost my job , i was struggling to feed
    my self and my kids. till one faithful day a friend of mine called tracia
    introduce me to this spell casting man , she told me this man can solve all
    my problems, first i doubted, this man did it for me, i got a better job
    with more higher income, and my husband return home under fourty eight
    hours begging me to forgive him. this man can help you solve the
    following problems:

    if you want promotions in your job:

    if you want your husband or ex lover back:

    if you are suffering from child bearing:

    if you need a new job:

    Long life spell:

    Protection spell:

    Love spell :

    Marriage spell :

    remedy for all kind of illness

    Production spell of films and movie :

    gambling spell and other problems i cannot mention, contact this man
    through his email {dr.bmars@gmail.com or dr.bmars@yahoo.com} i assure you that you will
    also drop your testimony.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Big thank you to Sorceress mama jaja, I don’t want to go into the whole long story..but bottom line is I have been doing no contact and he has emailed and phoned and I have ignored…. now I know for a fact he is PISSED ..big time…he has written some things on his profile that I know were meant for me to see…what do I do??? I am panicked he will just say for get it.. I order love spell from this powerful sorceress, mamajajasorceress@yahoo.com and my boyfriend came back to me.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I want to use this means to let the world know that all hope is not lost Getting pregnant after having tubes clamped and burned, I know IVF and Reversal could help but it way too cost, i couldn't afford it either and i so desire to add another baby to my family been trying for 5 years, not until i came across Priest Babaka, who cast a pregnancy/Fertility spell for me and i got pregnant.l hope that women out there who are going through the same fears and worries l went through in GETTING PREGNANT , will find your contact as i drop it here on this site, and solution will come to them as they contact you. Thank you and God bless you to reach him email via: babaka.wolf@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete

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