My State. Lordy, Lordy (as my Mamaw used to say)

Yesterday, for the first time since my divorce, which took place in May of 2010, I had the thought, Maybe it would have been easier to have just stayed married.  All I did was swap one set of headaches for another.  (Do you have any idea how many times I was told this in the last 8 years of my marriage when I was divorce-hungry?)

Now, hang on.  Let me explain the day I was having~

-My van had broken down on the freeway the night before.

-I am stressing about Christmas and absorbing Matt's stress about it.

-I am mentally exhausted from putting in over 40 hours a week for the past 2 weeks, ringing people up who aren't in the best holiday shopping mood.

-I need to get out of this house ASA-Freaking-P and get my own place, as I just do not feel comfortable here- not just in the house, but also on this street.

-I've been told by the orthodontist that Ada needs braces yesterday before her underbite sets in permanently.

So there I am in the car with Matt on the way to meet the tow truck, sobbing, as I feel all of these things crushing me and wondering how divorced people do it.

How in God's name do they get braces for their kids?  Get new cars?  Pay rent?  Provide Christmas?

If I'd stayed married to the homosexual, I would very likely be in a newer, properly functioning car THAT WAS REGISTERED.  I wouldn't need to worry about rent.  Ada's braces and Christmas would still be a strain, but doable.

I tried to reflect on what life was like married.  Financially, things weren't perfect, but nothing like the mountain I find myself trying to scale now.  And the other issues... OH, THE OTHER ISSUES...

I never dreamed that I could have all the wonderful things that I have with my fellah, Jeremy.  Granted he is a few states away, but the future promises us being together sooner than later and an emotional fulfillment that was quite simply not possible when I was married, which spurred me into one depression after another.

Not that Jeremy is the answer to my problems.  Because no human being can provide that.  This is pure and simple psychology.  (IHaveNoShameInTheAmountOfTherapyIHaveHad)

So,

Gosh.

Jeez.

Life, man.

And, no, I did not come to a conclusion that I should have stayed married to Matt.  But having that thought at all, was... telling in regards to my state right now.  And I ain't just talking about the state of California!

Couples who are not happy stay married for these reasons.  I get it now.







Comments

  1. Hello friends, my name's Andrea Maria, from Stockholm - Sweden. I read good comments about your good job, I'm very happy for you all as i have found same happiness in myself, just Few weeks ago i read a good testimony on similar blog website at my work office, a comment posted by a lady Jennifer from Madrid she said a Great man from Africana nation called Dr.Oduduwa was able to bring back her ex boyfriend after 12 months of break-up. i was motivated, I gave it a try to contact same Oduduwa via: (dr.oduduwaspellcaster@gmail. com) for urgent solution to restore back my marriage for about 2 years i have been separated. Just immediately i send email message to Dr.Oduduwa, I received immediate reply, he told me that he can help me, he said my case is too simple for him to handle because he have solve similar cases over the years. I gave it a try because i have nothing to loose from trying. he demanded for photo images and i bought candles and other spell materials required for a successful result. Two days ago which was Tuesday morning after love spell portion activated, i got a phone call from my ex husband man, he talked with me so nicely and apologize for breaking up with me, he explained to me that he was feeling very sorry, i forgive him and thank him for coming back. it was shocking and a big surprise to me, so quick i witness instant love spell result at work in my life up till today, we are much more in love than ever before we came to an agreement to start our family planning all over again. i never could imagine it will work so quickly until yesterday morning my husband man came back home to meet me and our two lovely kids we are all happy as one family.
    Dr.Oduduwa has great magic spell powers to resolve the following:...
    1) love spell portion to win games
    2) Restore back Lost Love Spells
    3) Divorce Spells
    4) Spouses' trust spouses
    5) binding spelling to living together forever
    6) Breakup Spells (terminate relationship)
    7) Magic roots and herbs for strong errection and long lasting sex
    8.) Magic spell promoted in your Job office
    9) Magic spell to have a baby. (women fruit of womb)
    Note: I was desperate to get back my ex love man, it work more faster only desperate ones seeking for urgent result to restore back true love and peace in marriage relationship to contact Dr.Oduduwa immediately. WhatsApp mobile: +79268011965

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular Posts