My Official Birthday Post Written by Melissa Singleton as Me

So, it's my birthday.


As a Mormon I was conditioned into believing that on this day, similarly to Mother's Day, I should have a homemade breakfast in bed put together by none other than my kid's sticky fingers and the all glorious non-gay non-ex husband should be standing in the door way waiting for the sticky fingers to clear so he could properly finger me into a birthday orgasm.

Okay, well the breakfast part anyways.  I've never heard anyone in my years of Relief Society attendance even whisper the word finger...  And they should! But that is for a future crumpet blog post.

Instead I groggily type away before i roll out of bed and my sticky fingers ignore me and if I'm lucky my gay ex won't finish off the coffee before I get to it.  

But.... The thing is about it all is that even though there is a bunch I'd change, today will be quite the day because "I'm a bad ass mother who don't take no shit from no one" and "I can do anything good. I like anything. I like my dad. I like my cousins. I like my aunts. I like my Allisons. I like my moms. I like my sisters. ... I like my hair. I like my haircuts. I like my pajamas. I like my stuff. I like my room. I like my whole house. My whole house is great. I can do anything good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can do anything good, better than anyone!"

Thank you Jessica and the Jamaican bob sled team.

And until I see the glorious love of my life my fingers are quite the talented ladies.


  1. perfectly Ashley, good job Melissa

  2. Ashley,

    Do you not know the racial history behind the 'strong black woman' stereotype or do you just not care? Love your blog, but I feel uncomfortable every time I see that tag. Having a hard time wrapping my mind around why you continually reference a term that dehumanizes black women?

    1. Dehumanizing... hmmm...
      I am fully aware that I am giving a tongue-in-cheek treatment to a stereotype. I treat several stereotypes that way on my blog. Note I didn't say 'angry black woman' which is a horribly offensive. However, every single African-American teacher I had in elementary school in Louisiana screamed directly into my face at some point. I don't know why they had to do that.
      Instead, I see the stereotype as more of a championing of how being black and female in American history has really sucked for the most part with a burgeoning in the recent years.
      No matter what I say on this, I'm going to offend someone. Just like the Strong Black Woman trope.
      I also see true strength in a human being when they embrace their vulnerability. Not deny it.
      So thank you for pointing this out. I had no clue there was a group of really pissed off people when it comes to this phrase. Now that I know, I will discontinue to 'dehumanize' black women and myself.
      How's that?
      P.S. There is also a stereotype about all redheads being feisty and short-tempered. I never liked that. It always just made me angry, thus 'proving' the stereotype. I could change my Strong Black Woman tag to Feisty Angry Redhead and see who that offends.


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