My Official Birthday Post Written by Melissa Singleton as Me
So, it's my birthday.
As a Mormon I was conditioned into believing that on this day, similarly to Mother's Day, I should have a homemade breakfast in bed put together by none other than my kid's sticky fingers and the all glorious non-gay non-ex husband should be standing in the door way waiting for the sticky fingers to clear so he could properly finger me into a birthday orgasm.
Okay, well the breakfast part anyways. I've never heard anyone in my years of Relief Society attendance even whisper the word finger... And they should! But that is for a future crumpet blog post.
Instead I groggily type away before i roll out of bed and my sticky fingers ignore me and if I'm lucky my gay ex won't finish off the coffee before I get to it.
But.... The thing is about it all is that even though there is a bunch I'd change, today will be quite the day because "I'm a bad ass mother who don't take no shit from no one" and "I can do anything good. I like anything. I like my dad. I like my cousins. I like my aunts. I like my Allisons. I like my moms. I like my sisters. ... I like my hair. I like my haircuts. I like my pajamas. I like my stuff. I like my room. I like my whole house. My whole house is great. I can do anything good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can do anything good, better than anyone!"
Thank you Jessica and the Jamaican bob sled team.
And until I see the glorious love of my life my fingers are quite the talented ladies.