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I'm Grateful for My Retainer

I am grateful for...

the unexpected fall weather in Redlands.

tender moments, teaching moments, and laughing moments with my kids.

California and Colorado both start with a 'C'.

the coffee shop down the street from me that has coffee.

my job at a very cool store which makes me feel cool.

my body and my large hip bones and my long legs and my ass.

my private jet.

my guest role on New Girl.

my guest role on Girls.

the smell of chimneys.

my boat.

my life with a man I am in love with in Colorado who gets me and supports me.

being the funniest person on the planet.

my brand new, perfectly functioning, air conditioned car.

my large new home with more than enough room for me and my kids.

Harry Potter.

season 3 of The Walking Dead.

all the money I make that keeps pouring into my life like those letters from Hogwarts did in the first Harry Potter.

my eyebrows being blonde enough that you can't really tell how long it's been since they were waxed.

opportunities to give and help and support and share with others.

my blog.

my readers.

all of my tremendous, astonishing, mind-blowing success.

nachos.  Always nachos.



  1. and i'm grateful for you.

  2. I'm also grateful for MY private jet.... AND you're the 2nd funniest person on the planet fucktard.


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