Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Birthday Night at Taylor's

So, I wasn't sure if I was gonna tell ANYONE this, much less put it on my blog, but I'm feeling pretty good about it.

I worked the night of my birthday.  Enjoyed every minute of it.  Came home, got kids tucked in, and decided to go try out a bar in town that I'd heard has karaoke.

Matt was out of town.  Didn't want to call up any of my new friends here at 11pm.  I went alone.

I walked into the bar, and there were 2 people there-  the bartender and some guy.

And it was dead quiet.  No music.  No talking.  Obvi, no karaoke going on.

I saddled up to the bar and started asking questions:

"No karaoke tonight, huh?"

"Why is it so quiet?"

"Why is there no music playing?"

"Is it always this empty?"

After I got all my answers, I nodded slowly and said, "Well, I'll stay for a drink.  It's my birthday."

The dude sitting at the bar told the bartender, Kathy, "I'll buy her drink."

"Awww...thanks.  I'll have a lemon drop!"

Delish!  Drunk in under 4 minutes.

The 3 of us are chatting.  Then it becomes just the dude and me chatting.  He tells me he's a doctor.  He tells me he's Seventh Day Adventist, but he called it 'SDA'.  He's 31.

I tell him I have a boyfriend (subtext- "Feel free to stop buying me drinks, cause I ain't going home with you").  I'm new in town.  Bla bla bla.

I order a Bicardi & Pineapple, which the doctor paid for again.

After chatting for quite a while, a gorgeous Guatemalan girl comes in.  She's very bubbly.  Her name is Astrid.  The doc is still vying for my attention and trying to convince me to have dinner with him.  That it would be harmless.

"I'm sorry.  I just couldn't do that.  I know you just want to have sex with me."

Next, a couple of policemen come into the bar.  They are friends of Astrid's.  So she is mainly talking to them, while the doc tells me he doesn't want to hear about my boyfriend.

Then Astrid plays a song on the jukebox and tells me to come dance with her.  "This is a song for the birthday girl!  Get over here, bitch!"  So I do.

Then one of her cop friends comes over and handcuffs us.

He pulls out his phone to take a photo.  Astrid puckers up like she's gonna pretend to kiss me, so I pucker up and close my eyes, you know, for the photo silliness.

Next thing I know, Astrid's mouth is on my mouth.  Then she opens her mouth.  Then her lips are closing and opening.  Then a tongue happens.

I'm trying to keep it together.

When the photos were done being taken, I said, "Well, I think I'm all sobered up now.  Gotta get home to the kids."

As I'm getting in the car, I hear Astrid shouting, "You better call me!"

I drove home, mildly freaking out.

I was thinking, No one must ever know!

I went home and watched a movie that is chock full of hetero sex called The Lover in order to cleanse myself of the girl kiss.

Matt messaged me from Utah, "What did you do tonight for your birthday?"

"Um, I can only tell you if you promise not to tell anyone..."

"Whatever.  What?!"

I explained.  His response was "Oh my god!"

"I want to move to Denver," I said.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA," Matt said.

P.S.  I went back a couple nights later for karaoke.  I killed it.  People were asking me where in the world I came from.  I just don't know anymore.  I just don't know...




                                                     

5 comments:

  1. ROFL! Sorry... but I about busted a gut over this... ;-)

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  2. I am sure that will be one birthday memory NEVER forgotten!

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  3. Oh, and good thing you didn't tell anyone!

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  4. My wife and I separated Last year September, I will agree I wasn't true to myself and her. But i did all I could let her have a good life I did put all my energy into our little family as we have 2 beautiful kids.because I worked As a waiter she didn't really like that for a career, she thought i didn't want to do well in my life. last year as the harsh finance situation hit as we've been suffering with our finance for a while she decided to end our marriage. which i was very devastated!! to lose the love of my life, but a month after separation i went to France for 10days to clear my head. when i got back she wanted me back but she didn't want romantic side of it a month after xmas she told me again that she cant do it anymore as our finance was at lowest. then we made a decision to end it to sort our lives out...but my prayer everyday for her to realize that i am not a loser all i wanted is to do what i could to put food on the table and roof over their head. since the second separation i am qualified football coach and fitness instructor and doing more toward my career but I don't want to get into a relationship with another woman when my wife and I suffered all of this years when my career takes of shes not there to enjoy it with me..I really want her back in my life so i contacted this spell caster Meruja owo who now help me to bring her back, we now have a happy family together with my wife. If you want his help you reach him via email at merujaowo101@live.com you are well come!

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  5. Hahaha. Welcome to LA. -- Gina

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