I've been struggling.
The past couple of days, I haven't had anything constructive to blog about.
The MO of my blogging is to be completely naked and not put on pretenses. I haven't wanted to show you my 'ugly naked'...
And now, taking the stage... is Ashley's Ugly Naked:
A lot of my time is spent with kids or taking naps or talking to my boyfriend.
I have anger building up inside of me. Anger toward several things in my life. I'll have a side of anger with a small glass of anger with ice. And for dessert, I'll try the anger ala mode.
I've put a lot of work into being positive in the past couple of years. Lots of work into adapting my perspective into one that is grounded in gratitude and joy.
And now here I am...
after giving up so much to get my kids here to California...
feeling good, feeling confident I was doing the right thing for my family...
and I'm not feeling good or confident.
I don't want to get out of bed. And I want to drink lots of beer.
And it's October. My favorite month. I am usually euphoric with the onset of Fall and upcoming Halloween, the best holiday.
And I am numb.
And I feel ugly.