A Very Confusing Thing That Happened (with a Healer)

So, I went to see a Healer once. 

It was last summer.

What I mean by a Healer is someone who puts their hands on your head to fix a physical problem that is caused by an emotional problem.  I don’t mean he/she puts their hands on your head in a fashion like unto a Mormon priesthood holder giving a blessing, but rather, someone who has, or believes he/she has, a gift- a gift that is innate, inborn; a healing gift that is not ‘bestowed’ by a religion.

 

You may think that type of thing is hogwash, but just listen to the story-

{Sidenote~ I’ve been open to the idea that there are people with such gifts for a long time- yes, even when actively Mormon.  Why do I bring that up?  Because I think that in general Mormons aren’t comfortable with the idea that there is legitimate ‘power’ outside of the church/gospel/priesthood. 

And just a quick $0.02 on what my spiritual stylings are:  I see that we are all miraculous.  I see the Universe as miraculous.  Whatever force you want to believe is responsible for the Amazing, even if it’s simply Science, we are all a part of that Power.  And that means we also have Power.}

Back to the Healer.

I went mostly out of curiosity.  Some friends of mine that I respect had had an amazing experience with the Healer.  This is how I learned about him.  I was eager to check it out. 

So I made an appointment.  And the fee would be $40. 

I didn’t necessarily have a physical ailment I was struggling with, except depression off and on throughout most of my adulthood (you know, just that little thing), which does affect us physically and chemically.  But mainly, I wanted to see the Healer!

My friends who’d seen him said he looked just like a High Councilman (a very high up position in a local Mormon hierarchy).  They had also mentioned that he was in fact Mormon. 

My mind went to Well, if he’s Mormon, but considers himself a Healer, then he’s sure to be open-minded.

The day of the appointment came, and I was feeling strange about it.  I asked myself, Why are you doing this, Ashley?  Purely out of curiosity?  You’ve been on a great track lately.  You’ve been positive and growing and peaceful.  Nothing physically or emotionally going on that is particularly concerning to you right now.

My answer to myself was, Well, the appointment is already made…

I entered the appointment and, sure enough, he looked like a Mormon High Councilman.  I sat down, and he started asking me questions:

“What brings you here today?”

“Tell me about yourself.”

“What is the physical issue you’re having that you’d like me to work on?”

So in answering all of those questions, I shared things about my divorce, struggle with Mormonism, and those types of major situations. 

Then the time came- the time for the healing. 

In a chair with wheels, the Healer scooched quite close to me and said that he was now going to adjust some neuro pathways in my brain. 

So get this- he started moving his hands and fingers around my skull, his eyes closed, and I absolutely felt something happening.  I had a physical sensation that cannot be described as just the sensation of feeling his fingers and hands on my head.  Something was washing over me. 

After a very short time, he pulled back, but not much, and said, “Well, I can tell you first off that you’re on the wrong path.”

“Huh?”

“You will not be truly happy until you embrace the church again 100%.”

“ … ”

“I have a daughter who has gone completely apostate, and she tells me that she’s the happiest she’s ever been in her life.  That’s what you’ll hear a lot of apostates say.  And the reason for that is because…Satan withdraws.”

“ … ”

“His work with you is done.  He has succeeded in pulling you away from the gospel.”

You guys, I didn’t know what to think or feel in this moment.  I was certainly incredulous. 

And I was sobbing.

The session ended quickly after that.  I stood up still in tears.  I grabbed my purse and he said to me, “Um, I know this isn’t what you came here for.  The things I told you today are things of the Spirit.  So… no charge.”

And I left. 

I got into my car not feeling healed or uplifted or better for seeing him.  I felt like a piece of shit. Is that a thing of the Spirit?

I thought back to earlier in the day when I was questioning myself.  I should have listened to myself!

I called Lovey.  As I told her about it, she did not sound pleased with this man, but she also didn’t tell me one way or the other what I should think about it.

And the Satan withdrawing thing… what is someone supposed to do with that?!  Especially someone like me who’d been basking in peace and constant connectedness with God- being free of guilt and judgment, which allowed that sense of Unconditional Love to flow freely through me for the first time in my life!

I was sharing this experience with another very close friend.  When I was done, the friend said, “So… I say if what he says is true, and apostates only feel happiness because Satan has withdrawn…OKAY!”

About a week later, I was over it.  But I was pretty messed up for that week.  Miserable.  Frustrated.  Second guessing.  Angry. 

But I let it go.  And I was back on track feeling good and peaceful.

I’m sure the only reason I felt good after that week was because once I finally decided to let it go and continue moving away from Mormonism… Satan withdrew.  Again.  "See ya later, sucka."

But I'm still very confused about the whole thing.