I Am Sorry for Whining About My Amazing Life

Ever heard of the website Makes Me Think?

MMT is a site I discovered about a year ago through a friend.  I immediately bookmarked it.  I'm ashamed to admit that I have only visited there a couple of times since then.

I had been kinda upset the past few days when I realized that soon it will be my 3rd birthday since the divorce, and it will be the 3rd birthday since the divorce that I have been 'stuck' with all of my kids, because their dad will not be in the same town for one reason or another.  I mean, if there is EVER a day that I am ENTITLED to some 'Me' time...

Then this morning, on a whim, I decided to revisit MMT.

And I found this:

Today, I live in a tiny motor home in my grandmother’s backyard with my substance abusing mom, her boyfriend, and my two younger brothers. The place is basically to small to turn around in. It's always trashed with beer bottles and filled with cigarette smoke. I sleep on the only open spot on the floor while I give my mom the only bed and my brothers the couch. And I get up and go to school to listen to people whine about not having the latest iPod. What my peers don't appreciate MMT.

And this:

Today, I understand now that her being a passionate person is no excuse for her trying to choke me to death when we got into an argument when I was a kid. But that’s all I ever knew growing up. That’s just what I was used to from my mother. It took me nearly 20 years to realize there was a better way to live. And now my two kids and I have the healthy kind of relationship I never knew existed. MMT

And this:

Today I went for a walk with my mama. I was recently released from the hospital after my back/spinal cord surgery. Up ahead, a man walking his dogs moved over for me. We said our hello's and he asked me what was wrong. I explained to him that I had just had broken my back and was near being a paraplegic. He then told me to keep fighting because 3 years ago his son broke his back and is now completely paralyzed. The fact that I still have a chance MMT.

And this one:

Today, I just finished serving a 3 year prison sentence, and I am starting 6 years of parole, for a crime I never committed. MMT

And this, too:

Today, I struggled with my job as a tour guide. Having to constantly perform for a crowd can be exhausting. But after I'd finished, a man walked up to me with tears pouring down his face, pressed some money into my hand, and said "You look so much like my daughter, who died years ago. Your hair, your eyes, the tone of your voice, and most of all your vivacity and kindness remind me of her. Thank you for making my day." MMT

I will gladly spend another birthday with kids on October 10th, 2012.  Hana, Emma, Timothy, and Ada, I love you in ways that I nor you will ever be able to completely understand.  Let's spend the day together doing nothing and making pancakes and yelling at each other and laughing and making a huge mess.


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