Skip to main content

Falling in Love Again For the First Time Almost Like It'd Never Happened Before This Once, Part One!

Oh, God. Puke!


But that is the post for today.

Last summer, I was playing Claire in Rumors at the Neil Simon Festival.

I'd just done a matinee and ran home to pick up the kids to bring them back to the theatre, because someone had provided a big dinner for us in the green room. We got back to the green room and waited for the dinner to arrive while my kids ran around and drove each other and me crazy.  I was tired.  So tired.  As I usually am with doing a play, working a part-time job, and raising 4 kids.  Also, it had been only 2 days since I ended things with The Artist.  I was missing our nakie-kissy stuff and his smooth voice and the way he giggled at my innocence.  More than anything I was pissed at myself for allowing myself to invest emotionally, because The Artist was clearly a girl-in-every-port kinda fellah.

Back to the green room:

My good friend, Mr. Hilarious (who was playing Ernie in Rumors), walked into the green room with some friends at the same moment that I was barking at Timothy. Of course. Of course!

One of these friends was a very tall good-looking man who was speaking in a baritone voice.

We locked eyes immediately.  I would have held it longer if I hadn't been in a bad mood.  Also, my first thought upon seeing him was, Shit.  Not another swarthy, olive-skinned, good-looking man. How dare you, swarthy man! What an a-hole!

Well, Mr. Hilarious just walked in with his posse, and Bad-Mood-Ashley waited for Mr. Hilarious to introduce his friends, but no no. No introductions. So I was feeling awkward on top of my bad mood. Mr. Hilarious!  Come on, man!  Introduce people!  That's what people do! Jeez! (bad mood)

I listened in to bits and pieces of their conversation. I thought, Hmmm, I think I have met this tall swarthy guy who is being an a-hole for being so attractive.

Dinner arrived and with no introductions having ever been gracefully offered to me, a high-class, upstanding woman, who is seasoned as to the ways of high society, I just made myself a part of their conversations.

The swarthy man had mentioned Provo/Orem, poking fun at it.  I interjected, "Oh, please don't."

"Oh, sorry," he said, "does it bother you?"

"Well, not that you're joking about it. I just can't stomach thinking about that place."

He chuckled, "I understand."

Then after some more chit chatting, I was sure I'd met this guy before.

I finally asked him, "What's your name?"

"Jeremy...Minagro," he answered.

"Oh, we've met before," I said, still in my bad mood.  So the tone of it was like, We've met before! God! How do you not know who I am, douche!

"We have? What's your name?"

"Ashley Wilkinson...Neves"

"Oh, right!"  Then he mentioned how he'd heard about my divorce and the deets through the theatre circles in Utah.

There we go.

Then we sat in the green room across the dinner table and did not stop talking.  He told me about his gay father.  He talked to me about how he used to be hardcore, true blue Mormon, but now he's an atheist. We picked apart the whole Mormonism/Homosexuality issues until there was absolutely nothing left.  (Of course, we were on the same page about that) It was just back and forth, back and forth between the two of us- talking, talking, talking.

As we were having this incredibly deep, open, personal conversation, we didn't really care that there were other people in the room.  We just kept going.

Then Jeremy pulled out his phone and very business-like asked me, "What's your number."

As I dictated my number to him, I felt silly. I'm not sure why.

Then he told me he and friends were going to Off the Cuff that night (Mr. Hilarious is one of the founding members/players).

I went home and texted his old friend in Cedar, Mr. Greekopolis, "So...Jeremy Minagro?"

His reply, "Yeesss??"

"I think I'm gonna make out with him tonight."

"Go for it! He's a great guy."

So a few hours, a shower, and play make-up removal later, I went to Off the Cuff.  Found Jeremy and friends and there was no seat open next to him.  I was mad.

We talk at intermission.

He seems strange.  He seems very serious.  I couldn't tell if he was just boring or nervous or uninterested.  I decided that I didn't' care whether or not we ended up making out.

Then Off the Cuff ended. I asked him if he'd like to hang out anyway. He said "Yeah!" But then changed his mind, because he was in town to specifically see these friends that he was with that night.

I understood. And went home not feeling disappointed.


  1. Ashley anyone ever tell you you are a TEASE! ;) I look forward to the next installment..

  2. PLEASE make this another nine-part series!! LOVE hearing your stories!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Counterfeit Experience of the Straight Spouse

The conversation has to continue as long as the wrong people keep bringing it up (April 2017, Ensign pg. 33).

The further I get from my experience in a mixed-orientation marriage, the more acute my understanding of how my experience, as the straight spouse, is and was marginalized.

Don't get me wrong! I'm the biggest cheerleader for the gay spouse, feeling trapped and unable to live authentically.  I'm the one banging on the other side of the closet door, begging, "Sweetheart, come on.  Stop doing this to yourself.  It's 2017 and depression or suicide is so unnecessary for THIS." 

But there are also the experiences of the men and women who are/were the straight spouse, like... Ashley 1.0.

We aren't living authentically either.

And our suffering and scars don't seem too important. You may have read about how I super duper wanted to drive my mini-van off of Cedar mountain. 

If you're just joining this conversation:  No, it is not just about sex. …

In Which I Feel Compelled to Start a Blog Because of a Club and a Unicorn...

My name is Ashley.  I was Mormon for the first 36 years of my life.

Yep, I was baptized when I was 8.  I went to BYU where I received a Bachelors in Theatre.  I married a returned missionary in the Mt. Timpanogas Temple.  We were full tithe payers.  I fulfilled several callings diligently, including serving as Primary President for 2 years.

About a year after my divorce, I was chatting with my new bishop, who I had known for several years prior to that.  He asked me, "So, Ashley, why did you and Matt get divorced?"

I replied, "Matt is a homosexual."

I just looked him in the eye after I said this and waited a few seconds while he absorbed it.

Then he asked, "Well, was there another problem as well?  Like drinking? Or gambling?"
I looked him in the eye a second time and replied, "Nope.  Just that."

He was genuinely confused.


I was in a mixed-orientation marriage- a marriage between someone who is gay and someone who i…

The White Man

Let's leave this ambiguous.

Also, I'm not gonna tell you about experiences that took place with just one white man. For this, I'll make it one lumpy conceptual White Cisgender Heterosexual Conservative Male (cue the music from the 'Beef-It's What's For Dinner!' music).

In the work force, I have to deal with him. I have to play the game of diplomacy without compromising who I am. If it's mental gymnastics, it's the balance beam in heels with someone patting me on the head saying, "Gosh, I just don't know how you do that! I never could do that! But here are some pointers! Hey! Why did you do it like that?? Why aren't you listening?"

...but I just keep doing my thing.

Utah is the type of prime real estate, and certainly not the most prime, where this guy is King. Everything around him is his dominion. He is not a part of a group that is marginalized. For those of you who do not understand what I mean, I'll present you with the ext…