Monday, September 17, 2012

BFF. WTF.

The Best Friend thing when you're older (like me- make note that I said older, not old) is odd.  It's different than when you were in school.

For example, when I was growing up in West Monroe, Louisiana, I had a couple of 'best friends' at church and a couple of 'best friends' at school.  I'll always remember their names:  April, Jenny, Michelle, Jamie, & D.J.

And, you know, how for a lot of us as children, that best friend can change monthly depending on moods and even convenience.

Every time I moved, which was often, I ended up with new best friends. Then there's college, which is a whole 'nother ball of wax.

What I'm trying to say is I have a list of names of 'best friends' from all different facets of my life.

Tricia
Windy
Heather
Jennifer
Jennifer
Chris
Lauren
Ary
Lili
Rachel

One person that I NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER thought would be my best friend was: 

Carrie

(my sister)

I'm not sure how it happened.

I thought I hated her for most of my childhood. 

My mother says when Carrie was a baby- I would have been 3 at the time- I was thoroughly uninterested in her.  Pretty normal, I think.  

Then, there was the time I ran over her with my bike.  She was 2; I was 5.  Normal, again. 

Throughout elementary and middle school, we fought.  We fought a lot.  Like we hit each other and stuff.  In high school, we didn't beat each other up anymore, but were back and forth with love/hate.  I could treat her pretty terribly during those times. Remember that song that went, "I hate my sister/she's such a bitch"?  Carrie loved that song.  But high school was certainly a time of more love than any other time in our lives.

I don't know if it was just me that said this, or what, but a repeated theme was how opposite Carrie and I were. 

Today...

Carrie and I just get each other.  She's a mom.  I'm a mom.  She's divorced.  I'm divorced.  We have both discovered that Mormonism doesn't work for us.  We have both smoked pot.

What's bigger than that, though, is as I have gone further and further into adulthood, I appreciate, and indescribably so, how my sister and I can relate on such a core level.  We both came from the same parents.  We grew up in the same cultures.  Certain things don't have to be explained.  I can just bring something up and she'll be all, "Oh, god, yeah. Uh huh, go ahead..."

That's invaluable to me.

I no longer think we're opposites anymore, but we're not the same either, by a long shot.  Which is lovely and how it should be, i.e., Carrie is much more aggressive and abrasive than me and would make a brilliant personal assistant if I ever need one.  She'll be everybody's boss, y'all, not just mine.

And one of the biggest factors that really and truly brought me to a deeper level of loving my sister, that it almost felt like I loved her for the first time, was acceptance.  We have each been through enough of life and its disappointments that we simply started accepting each other.  And listening. Listening to each other. And that connection I mentioned above is so priceless that nothing, especially judgment, is worth jeopardizing that.

My favorite thing about our relationship is how much we laugh.  We are both so effing hilarious.  You don't even know. 




8 comments:

  1. My youngest sister and I are very close now and we fought like cats and dogs when we were younger. I am 5 years older and I didn't want my friends to even know I knew her, let alone that she was my sister! There is no one that understands me and is as honest with me as she is. Plus, who else can you bitch about your mom to that totally gets it???

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  2. You two were made for each other. Beautiful post, Lovey dear. I love Carrie and her smart ass mouth!

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  3. Oh, and I love your 'teaching conversations'...they make me pee my pants!

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  4. I can't believe you 2 got high without me. And why the fiddlefuck am I so far down on the goddamn list?! WTF!? I had to take you to prom and pretend like I was in love for fucks sake. Jesus.lmfao. Love you, fire crotch. Always and forever ever. Love you too Carrie! Kisses.

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  5. Carrie has always been a favorite. And yes, back in the HS days--you were very different outwardly. I love youBOTH!

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  6. Ash, we're like the SAME!! But NOT!!

    Haa, Chris, I'm surprised you didn't call me ”Ashley's sister” just now. That was pretty much my name for a couple years in HS!! Yaa..maybe I lived under her shadow in HS & Drama class....but hey I freakin dressed like a shadow!!

    I love you my sissy. I can honestly say I have never wanted to kill you nor ever even hated you. :-)

    But seriously.....why the cowboy hat picture??

    -C

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