Horrible, Heart-Wrenching Part of Divorce with Nicki Minaj

The longest I'd ever been away from Timothy (a year and a half old at the time) was ten days back in '04 when Matt and I went to Europe to celebrate the completion of his 2nd Masters degree.  I was pregnant with Ada.  We left our three kids with my parents in Baton Rouge.  Matt & I boarded the flight from Baton Rouge a couple of hours after saying goodbye, and I started to sob.  Matt made fun of me.  I said something like, "Matt!  You don't you miss them?!"  He replied, "Uh, no.  I've been away from them for two hours before!"

Last Sunday night, I passed all the kids off to Matt (my two oldest had been with me for a week & 1/2).  Timothy, now 9 yrs old,  and Ada, 7, will be with Matt and their two older sisters for two weeks.  

We met in Vegas, as Matt is in Southern California, and I am in Cedar City, Utah.  The six of us had a bite to eat at Raisin' Canes (go there) and a half hour later, Matt was ready to hit the road back to Cali.  

During dinner, Emma, 12, said something about her birthday coming up in a couple of months.  "I'll be turning 13 and my birthday's on the 13th!"  I said, "Oh, someone told me once that means it's your Golden Birthday."  Ada asked, "When's my Golden Birthday?!"  "Yours will be when your turn 30, sweetie, cause your birthday is on the 30th."   

After dinner, we all walked out of the restaurant and Ada went in a different direction than the rest of us.  I watched her.  She gave me a brief look over her shoulder to make sure that I would know she was sad.  I interpreted the look to mean that she was gonna miss me!  She was super sad about being away from Mommy for two whole weeks!  

She stopped at a tiny tree that she leaned her forehead on and gave me the look a second time.  

"What's wrong, sweetie?"

Then she lost it, "My Golden Birthday should be when I turn 13 like Emma!  Not 30!"  

Oh.  

"Um, darlin', the Golden Birthday thing isn't really real.  I think it's just something my friend made up."

"But I still don't want it to be when I'm 30!"

O-kay...

We unloaded the contents of my car into Matt's.  I hugged and kissed Hana, 14, and asked her to be a second mommy for me to Timothy and Ada.  "They're used to having a Mommy to hug them and kiss them!"  She was very mature and sweet about my request.  Then, I said goodbye to Emma.  Emma's in that phase where my breathing irritates her, so forget hugging or kisses.  But she let me put my arms around her and put my cheek on her cheek.  And I lost it.  She didn't push me away or groan.  My heart burst, for so many reasons.  

Then I hugged and kissed Timothy and Ada, and I was full on bawling.  Ada was, too, but probably more about the Golden Bday thing still.  Then everyone was buckled into Matt's car; Emma was in the back seat with Timmy and Ada which I knew she would not endure gracefully.  

Matt followed me over to my car and was like, "Really?"

"Matt!  I've never been away from Timmy and Ada for two weeks before!" I said through sobs.

"You're such a girl."

"They're used to having a Mommy around all the time."

"Yes, and now they'll have their dad and have a different experience."  Wisely put, Saint Matthew.

I took some deep breaths and cleared my throat, "Um...(sniffle, sniffle) did you see my post about Nicki Min-"

"Of course. Yeah.  Duh.  I see everything about Nicki Minaj.  Has nothing to do with the fact that you wrote it. I love her.  "