I had dinner last night with a former BYU professor-let's say his name is Brilliant Amazing- who I hadn't seen in 14 years. As we were catching up, we talked a lot about my divorce.
I told Brilliant Amazing how once at church in Relief Society a couple of years ago, the High Priest group leader-let's call him Steve Bajooly- came in to make an announcement. I was sitting on the front row. A HP group leader's main concern is the widows and otherwise single "sisters" of the ward (congregation).
His announcement: "We will be having a dinner for all the High Priests, their wives, and all the (his gaze pans over directly to me) sss-"
Did he just edit 'single sisters' from the announcement??? When he was looking right at me no less???
"So, anyway," he continues, "the dinner is this Thursday at 7pm."
A few weeks later, I went to lunch with my very close friend who was the RS president-let's just say her name is Awesome. I told Awesome about this incident, because I thought it was hilarious. She took a deep breath and said, "I think I know why."
Awesome tells me that earlier in the month, she had mentioned in a meeting that my home teachers weren't coming to visit. Home Teachers are men (paired) that visit a family once a month for a few minutes to give a short message and see if they are doing okay. Well, when she said this in that meeting, Steve Bajooly said, "Is it a personality conflict?" (I'd never had a conversation with the guy)
"Um, nooo...they're just not going..." she replied with confusion.
After the meeting, Awesome pulled Steve Bajooly aside and asked what that was all about in there.
He said, "Ashley told the whole ward how happy she is, and she can't be!! She's divorced!! No one can be happy when they are divorced! And there is never a good reason to get a divorce!"
Awesome asked him if he knew why I'd gotten divorced. Steve Bajooly claimed he knew everything.
"I don't think ya do," she said.
So anyway, when I got to this point in the story last night at dinner with BYU professor, Brilliant Amazing, I said, "You know, I just think the poor guy wants a divorce so bad that he can't stand how jealous he is of me that I got one."
He chuckled and nodded.
Then I added, "And I bet he wants to fuck me!"
"...or fuck Matt..." added Brilliant Amazing.