Monday, June 10, 2013

Mad Woman

I am a single mom. 

I am. 

It's just what I am. 

And because I'm a single mom, I have to work.  The logic there is so... wrong.  Right?  Because when a mom becomes single, your kids need you more than ever.  But, no, no.  Mama's gotta work.  Hard. 

When I started the blog last year, I needed moola.  More than I could make in Cedar City, which, with my work experience/resume, was minimum wage.  But I was working nonetheless.  Nearly 40 hours at that.  I didn't mind the working.  Not at all!  I love feeling productive out in the world.  I'm a great employee to have, because I value livelihood. 

I would have given/ would give anything to be able to stay home with my kids, and organize fun things and projects for us to do as a family, and be there to make sure they get their chore charts done whilst keeping the home clean, and just, you know, be there.  Being mom.  I'm here, kiddos.  I'm here for you when you need me.  You are just children, and I am your nurturer and your caregiver and your guidance.  Each and everyday. 

When I'm at work, I may enjoy the relationships and interactions with people, and I may have a strong sense of satisfaction about contributing to society, but these things I'd easily give up if I could.

As is the case with many of us, ends don't often meet.  And now to what I'm really getting at:

Shortly, after I gave birth to my blog- I mean, like, a day later- I realized I could try to make some money with it.  My readership was, um, unfathomable.

I asked a friend of mine, who makes her living solely off of her blog, how to do it.  She gave me some great ideas to get started.  I didn't have any unrealistic expectations, just hopes of some supplemental cash.  So I could, you know, pay the rent...buy food for my kids...and not go negative in my bank account. 

Then, I had second thoughts.  I asked my boyfriend at the time, "Is it tacky??  Should I or shouldn't I??  Will I be taken less seriously?"

His response was, "Ash, (chuckle) I see this as getting something positive out of the horrible experiences you had.  If you can make money by writing about it, then more power to you." 

So I put up some ads.  

And here's the honest truth: 

I've made $150 off of my blog. 

Yep. 

In a year's time. 

I've decided to take down the ads. 

Just FYI.